The Golden Age (No Time)

To Do List

1. Play catch-up in Japanese
2. Play catch-up for Yoga assignments
3. Review Chinese notecards
4. Decide Thesis topic
5. Find a faculty advisor
6. Begin the research process
7. Start MGMT paper (tie it in with thesis)
8. Begin review for history midterm
9. Actually do the history midterm
10. Do the history online questions + readings + movie 
11. Meet with advisor again
12. Meet with study abroad advisor again
13. Unpack, eat, sleep, etc.

How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?
                                                                                    - Dr. Seuss

Feel the City Breakin' and Everybody Shakin' and We're Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive

This semester is going to be the best one yet. I love the fall semesters! They're so great! My schedule looks nice and soon it will be sweater weather and my dorm looks great and things are swell! 
                                                                                                 -Me, 3 Weeks Ago

OKAY EVERYONE. I'm going home today please don't contact me unless it in an EMERGENCY. I need to get out of Memphis and RELAX. I am SICK. I am DYING. I need 14 iced coffees and 3 small dogs PRONTO. Make those coffees as big as you can order them. TRENTI. I need TRENTI coffees. And don't forget the puppies.
-Me, as of Thursday

So, uh, school's been great!

Oh, who am I kidding-- I'm a ball of stress, nasal congestion, and caffeine.

I don't want to be dramatic. It's been nice. On the plus side: this fall I have pet several cute dogs. I aced my first (albeit really easy) exam. I've taken freshman under my wing (new dumplings!) and watched several movies after-hours at honors. I've decorated my dorm room so nicely it could go in a magazine (if it weren't so messy... whoops) and I've still got more to put up. I'm surrounded by a lot of positivity and fun.

Buuuuuuuut on the down side, with all that positivity comes a lot of negativity. A lot of my friends are going through a lot so I'm just in the middle of a lot of things with a lot of heads on my shoulder. I'm super, super, super, super, super busy with honors and really need to work on my time management. I never want to look at another invoice again ever.

I've had to take a few steps back this semester. As much as I love my club and my friends, it does consume my life. I'm going through a pretty bad case of burnout right now so I took a very long weekend to come home, hang out, and try to lower my stress levels before flu season hits. I mentioned this to dad earlier-- being sick in a dorm sucks.

It's really easy to go into a semester with a ton of enthusiasm and motivation (DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS JUST BE DREAMS) and it's just as easy to lose it all (my dreams are hidden by college bureaucracy and piles of schoolwork) over-stressing about it. I'm trying to take a few steps back and keep it within context (ex. "You won't remember this failed event in 10 years" or "Things that are stressing you out now will not even be an issue in 6 months") but I'm such a worry-wart, it's hard.

So, of course, to ignore all my stress, I'm planning my trips. Pilsen, Czech Republic, is definitely happening now. That'll be 3 weeks in Europe that I'm just super pumped for. Then-- you know what? JAPAN. I won't even be in the United States anymore! For a whole year, I'll get to go to festivals, study a language that's super fun, tour a beautiful country, and take part in a cultural that is literally almost the opposite of my own.

But then that makes me stressed, too. Deadlines for these trips aren't event until MARCH but I'm already letting them freak me out. What's that saying? Don't miss the forest for the trees, right? I feel like it's something like that.

All-in-all, I feel like the average college student. Stressed out, in a civil partnership with my coffee maker, and ever-hopeful for the future. It's not even time for mid-terms yet!

But now, time for pictures!

Slidefest: Memphis. Oh my gosh. I was so excited for this. A giant, 1,000 foot water slide. You know what? It sucked. >:(

ME AND BRI! 

The whole fam together!! BBQ was delicious!

For my yoga class, I have to take pictures of myself doing yoga "asanas." Shown above is the... I forgot the Sanskrit name, but it's the tree pose. I almost fell over. (Actually, I think I did after the picture. Look how tilted I am!)

A scarf I'm knitting for a friend. It's a bit longer now. I forgot how much I like knitting. 

The dumplings figured out how to get smash bros on our upstairs projector. We're streaming every friday to raise money for st. jude!

Was sent this by mom. Cat pictures, dog pictures, lizard pictures-- anything helps me get through the school days. 

Me and some of the crew-- right is Connor and left, slightly blurry, is Jake. Doing that Panda Express wait. (For those who don't know, UoM got a Panda Express. The only thing more outrageous than the line to get some is the prices-- who has that many dining dollars to spend??)

I'm going to get back with y'all about how great this is-- I'm really, really, really, really excited. 

Stretch and Breathe, Jump and Dive

So, school started. Last week. I moved in early to get a head-start on the honors program and and get a running start on the semester. I'm doing yoga twice a week, writing and re-writing to-do lists, herding dumplings (that's what I call the freshman, if you remember), and trying to remember my online course. Phew.

I'm also swing dancing, planning, drafting emails, researching, researching, researching (if anyone knows anything about grad schools-- help??) and trying not to spend all my dining dollars at panda express. My room is already a mess, I'm running out of socks and blasting music late at night. It's a pretty normal semester.

Trying to get really into Japanese while maintaining Chinese and somehow trying to catch some Greek in my language net.

I don't know how to flip pictures so... anyway, yeah, here's my dorm, when it was at least a little clean. Added a desk lamp, a lamp lamp, curtains, and lights over the curtains, another tapestry on the unpictured wall. I still have another tapestry to put up, and a floor lamp to put up. I'll take a panorama sometime...

The first honors night out was cosmic bowling-- so of course I had to wear cosmic pants to match. Freshman involvement this year is insane. We had 40 freshman attend, which is astronomical, considering last year we didn't have any come to our first event. 

This was the first and "official" honors orientation. It was pretty fun, but everyone got really hungry towards the end and it was a little awkward.

This past weekend I went to a renaissance fair with some friends and a dumpling. I took a selfie with the Queen, with my selfie stick! It was really, really funny and the event was overall really, really fun. 

Things are pretty much the same as they were when I last wrote, except I'm busier, and, unfortunately not sitting beside a pool.

I've been meeting with old professors trying to figure out this whole "grad school" thing. I met with one today and planning to meet with another, and another, and then my advisor, again, once I have more a plan. So far I have an ideal plan, but it's a little nerve-wracking to think about. Super nervous any time I think about it. Oh well. Here goes nothing, let's see what the readers think:

1. Finish this semester (F15) and next semester (S16) with flying colors.
2. Sometime before that, somehow get involved with SOME sort of research? Also, brainstorm honors senior thesis. IDK.
3. Next summer, go to the Czech Republic on the UoM's dime to study ESL (English as a Second Language) and get my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certification.
4. At this point, all of my degree requirements will be done. Yes. Three years in. I know. Crazy.
5. Study abroad (again on the UoM's dime-- scholarships are really big for the Japanese program, I hear!) for two semesters using the scholarship money that I still get. Maybe for a whole academic year. In Japan! Wow. Scary, I know? But fun!!!
6. Graduate COLLEGE!

What happens next, uh, depends. I could go teach English in Japan for a few years or get a different job doing different things-- I could get a really good deal on some grad school and just DO IT. But it's scary. I'm ready to do it but it's so, so, so scary, you know?

Sometimes I just want to go live the island life on the Mediterranean. Blue waters, clear mind, white sand, coconut drink. You know? Yoga on the beach to the rising sun. Sounds like heaven.

I'll get there someday. Until then I'm going to bury myself in books and libraries and emails and trying to guide freshman while also guiding myself. I'm going to swing dance then kick of my heels to write papers. I'm going to go straight from yoga class to meetings. No one said involvement was easy  but I never really thought about how crazy my life would get. Time management is essential, and self-motivation is a really big driver. No one's going to make me go to grad school, you know?

Then again, no one made me go to D.C. either. Why stop there?

On a lighter note, I am planning to spend my birthday in Huntsville with Brianna, and visit ALABAMA as often as I can. I also got a mailbox. Please send me letters, I love collecting bits of paper.

Mackenzie Clark

3155 Campus Postal Station

Memphis, TN, 38152

I think that wraps up this blog post. Stay hungry for adventure, everyone! 

Shots in the Dark

In my life, I've always been really big on having a plan for things.

A plan for college, after college, a plan for the day (or the plan to not have a plan for some days) or, you know, a life plan in general.

Most often I thought this was a good thing. It pays to be prepared, and if I have all my ducks in a row (and back-up plans for these ducks) then everything would be easy, right? Almost too easy.

Well, family, friends, I'm happy to say that I don't really have a plan anymore. And I'm actually really happy for that.

My days since my return home have been filled with emails, laundry, and unpacking (only to start repacking, as I move in next Thursday). I've spent a long time pouring over the pictures I took this summer, the ones I hoarded and demanded. "Get together," I'd say, "it's time for a group picture!" And despite the groans and the requests for me to put away my selfie stick, I'm glad I documented every day of that trip. I miss the city, I miss my friends, and I almost miss the ignorance I had before I went.

That last one might sound a little strange and it's even harder to explain. Before I went to DC, I had the grandest plan. Graduate with honors and a bit of experience under my belt and a shining resume, then ship myself off either across Memphis or across states to Florida and find a nice job, a nice apartment, get some pets, move to a house, get a career... You know, a plan plan.

It was all about living a life of comfort, right? Following the path that others had set before me. Pretty easy. Ignorant of my potential!

Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Everything got flipped when I started thinking about grad school. Though, to be honest, it started a little bit before then. My favorite course this summer out of the three I took was a course on Ethics and Leadership. The professor, Mike, professed that it was not Ethics we were speaking on, but Moral Philosophy. I'd never taken a philosophy course before, but was willing to go along with it because my other two courses were a bit disappointing.

And, to my surprise, I learned more in that course than I'd ever learned in any classroom before. I think this was due to the fact that in most classrooms, the coursework is external. Facts, theorems, hypotheses. (How does GDP affect this person? How does lobbyism work?) Whereas in this course, Mike's course, the dialogue was directed internally. Who are you? Why? What would you change-- how can you change? Why are we here? And much the like.

And I realized something. The path I had illuminated for myself was just one of many. It wasn't the only way-- there were more ways than I could possible imagine! But they required shots in the dark, because no one had done them before. At least, not in my family.

So, in light of all these serious adulthood events, I have decided to make some announcements in a child-like fashion.

"Grad School!"

"Learn more Languages! (Starting with Greek!)"

"Travel the World"

So maybe I'm going to depart from the path I set forward for myself and let things... go. I'll go with the flow and step over things as they come, and never stop reaching for my full potential. Other people have done it, so why can't I?

Now that that's all out of the way, here are my favorite pictures from D.C.:

My favorite room of the office building.

Mackenzie as a "Homo erectus" 

A magical evening!

Me and a my very good friend Allison.

The crew! From the left: Dimitris, Dan, Alyssa, and Adam.

The Brazilian steakhouse! Dimitris, me, Tatum, Dan, and Alyssa. 

This was an amazing experience!

The first ballgame I ever actually paid attention to.

Me and my high school BFFL Will (who happened to be in Dc at the same time as me!) 

The time I went to the "beach" and almost died-- the ball pit was 3-4 feet deep vs. my 5'3" height.

Einstein and I.

The last of the friend group eating at this delightful little Italian place nestled right into Chinatown!

The crew on graduation day: Me, Dimitris, and Mike!

The graduating group from my institute: Economics and International Affairs. I'm in the front row, just to the right of the sign! 

I'll never forget D.C. and I hope I never forget what it taught me!