Shanghai, I Love You, but You're Freaking Me Out

If I had to compare China with something, it'd be with a roller coaster. You've heard all about it, read all about it, and when you get on you're a little nervous, but SO excited. You get on, and it's so amazing, so great you can't believe it. Better than you could have imagined.

Maybe some people on the ride with you scream too loud, but overall it's great.

Then it keeps going, and you realize how great it is to be with two feet planted firmly on the ground you'er familiar with. You knew some of the turns and flips of the roller coaster, but feeling them for yourself is so different. You get sick. It's stop being fun. You can't wait for it to be over.

When you get off, you kiss the ground. You liked the coaster, but you're not sure if you'll ride it again.

~

I wish I had an overwhelmingly positive experience in China, but for the last two months, life was a struggle. Roommate issues, injuries, and injury-related class issues were a big problem. After I hurt my knee, everything changed.

I mean, I wish I had a better explanation as for what happened, but I don't. Ever since I was little, my kneecap has popped out of place. I never thought it was an issue because even though it bothered me, it always healed itself. It's not anyone's fault that I didn't get it checked out earlier.

It was the Friday night we pulled into Beijing. I was walking through the railway station with some of my friends and bam, knee slips out of place. The normal extreme pain that fades, the inability to walk, the soreness, and the jello feeling were all there, but they didn't stop. I could hardly walk, and going to the Great Wall tomorrow definitely couldn't happen. That's right, folks. I missed climbing it because of my knee. But you know, stay positive, right? That Tuesday, crutches in hand, I went to see the knee doctor, who sent me for an MRI. The results were grim: I'd need surgery ASAP, because the ligament holding my kneecap in place was torn, and I had a loose body floating around my knee area because of a fractured bone. It wasn't like I was going to die if I didn't get the surgery, but the longer I waited, the worse it would get. Even though walking was easier, my knee still buckled. I remember I was walking on completely flat ground inside at a normal pace and it slipped out of place again. Not only that, but I was told that the ligament had a risk of healing incorrectly, which was very bad. Also, the loose body could float around the the front of my knee, slip into the little knee-cap space, and prevent me from fully extending my knee.

Great.

Faced with all of this, and the recovery time, I made the decision to get surgery in China. I was answered with various responses. Several of my roommates asked if it was even necessary for me to get surgery. I imagine they may have thought it was a bit overblown; a lot of my roommates were kind of shitty people. The kind of shitty personalities you see in sitcoms or something and you think can't exist. Trust me, I had three of them in one house.

So, alone and armed with the international insurance hotline, I went under the knife. I had friends promise to visit me, and one of my advisors for the study abroad program as well. I showed up at the Shanghai United Family Hospital at 7AM for my surgery at 9AM. My anesthesiologist was Australian and funny, my nurses were Chinese, and my doctor was from Hong Kong. The surgery went well, and I woke up in my hospital room in time to have lunch (PASTA LA CARBONAAAARRA). My knee was huge, bandaged, and a bit painful, but I was connected to antibiotics and given snacks, so it wasn't too bad. Then I waited for my advisor and friends. My friends couldn't come because there wasn't time, they had to work, they had homework, papers, tests, so I waited for my advisor. He didn't come, either. I spent the day and night alone in hospital.

I'm not trying to garner pity. This is the truth of what happened. The hospital was amazing, they treated me well, and the room was nice. It was amazing, with great food, great internet, and great people. But I was alone.

That really set the tone for the rest of my visit to China. There were great people, like my friends Susie and Nina, but the negativity within my house was suffocating. I missed almost two week of classes because I couldn't even walk there. Some days I woke up and my leg ached and hurt too much to go-- some of my housemates accused me of skipping classes because I was lazy. One of them asked me if I was willing to give her some of my painkillers. It was... less than stellar.

But eventually, after starting physical therapy, I was walking to class. I took my finals, and flew home. I got to the airport nine hours early, partly because it was more convenient to get to the airport at 9PM than 4AM, and partly because I couldn't stand to stay in the house any longer.

For all the modern wonders Shanghai had, all its history, its opportunity, and its towering skyscrapers, I couldn't love it. I missed the clean air and blue skies, I missed my family and my friends and my boyfriend. I missed people who didn't live for drama and clubbing and parties. I missed my routines and my campus.

I learned a lot in Shanghai, about myself and others. I really improved my Chinese, and I really hope to get a job with it. I've learned to really appreciate life here in the States.

I really can't wait to get back to school, graduate, and do something. I want an apartment, a cat, and freedom. Even though I can't say for sure what kind of job I want, I know for sure those things are what I want.

Hopefully I can start blogging with some kind of regularity too. Hopefully.